Hannah in Seraphina's Wings

Why I didnt report. I was 2. Why I didn't report. I thought it happened to everyone. They were football players. I couldn't stop them. I didn't know what else to do, so I left my body until it was over. Why I didn't report. She was my girlfriend. I was 16 in an endless cycle of sexual, physical, pschological, and emotional abuse with nowhere to go. And I loved her. Why I didn't report. They were three "friends" I had recently met in the aeriel community I was a part of.  They drove us out into the middle of nowhere in the woods in a town I'd never been to in the middle of the night. We were laying in the back of the van and they began having sex with each other and me. I felt like I had no choice, and no voice to make them stop. There was no way to get home, or even make a phone call. When we got home I tried telling an aerial instructor what had happened. She stopped me before I even began..laughing it off saying she "di

This little beauty came to life after finishing up some deep healing work around sexual trauma I experienced growing up and into adulthood. Creatives, do you ever get that feeling like you just might explode if you don't get something on canvas right this very minute, but then find a million and one other things to do that just can't wait!? That's what I've been experiencing quite often lately. This need to create, but also a kind of fear holding me back that leads to nowhere. It all just feels so unbelievably MASSIVE sometimes, but one of the most helpful, light bulb switched on kind of moments happened for me with this recently. My amazing mentor I work with, Kristian Strang , mentioned that this BIGness we sometimes feel.. it's actually HOLINESS. Wowza. #mindblown. The degree to which we feel something is the degree to which the epic/life changing/healing epiphanies and transformations are waiting for us on the other side. So much better these massive e

Rolling out of bed on a Sunday morning with a few more days left to go before heading back to work (thank you most epic nanny job ever!), I felt a deep call within to spend the day at a beautiful place called Lost Lake up near Mt. Hood. I hadn't been in ages, and just couldn't pass this idea up. I had been feeling way out of sorts in my body, in particular in relationship to the season beginning to shift into fall. Never before had I experienced this feeling to such a degree. I've always loved and celebrated the seasons changing! But this year a large part of me for whatever reason didn't receive the full experience of summer that it needed to, and so I had been a bit out of sorts by fall already approaching. I arrived at Lost Lake in the early afternoon, sunshine bright and beaming with clear, crisp, almost Autumn air all around. Everything within me exhaled in a big sigh of relief. I felt that deep YES within. My spirit team (so freaking amazing they are)

I decided to take a break from trying to figure out which images to place on my project I had been working on for class, and a lovely surprise was born! It was 8/8 yesterday, what is referred to as Lions Gate. A time that stirs up what most wishes to be born within you, highlights areas needing your attention... basically anything and everything comes up for you to look at that you then hopefully heal and take aligned action from. I had been FEELING it these past few days you guys. For weeks even. One old story or thought pattern would rear it's head, I held it in love until it transmuted, and then another, and then another, and another. A bit of a marathon of sorts. And then yesterday, the big day came, along with big intense resistance and emotions  with it. I sat in meditation on an off throughout the day. I took huge, cleansing breaths in and out. I even reached out for support from my mentor who I work with. Usually each of these pieces does the trick like *tha

My heart feels like it's cracking open. "Follow your bliss", "Let what you love the most be your guide", or "Whatever brings you the most joy, do that". These were all phrases that I, and most of us have heard over the years. I've always nodded my head in response, with an "Of course, why wouldn't I do that!?" feeling inside. And then just moved about my business, not even realizing I had pushed away the very things that brought me the most joy long ago. *Face palm*. Through deeper inquiry, and the way in which "life" (more like spirit, or God, or whatever you want to call it) seems to cause uphevel if you're not actually getting it in the way your suppose to happens, I'm finally beginning to receive the meaning of these statements in a way they were actually intended. So out go all the rules. Off goes the TV. Away with the naysayers and haters. Good bye old yuck filled stories and programs running in my hea

I was inspired by a dear friend this week to focus in on a topic most widely known as “blocks” (in other words..the crappy things we feel). My friends and I refer to this as resistance. The feelings rising up inside us needing attention that take the form of aspects such as; sadness, avoidance, tiredness, hunger, blame, anger, and all those seemingly very important things that simply must get done right this very instant, conveniently making it almost impossible to sit down and face whatever is causing said resistance. This has been me so very many times. Most recently, Saturday mornings have been a thing. After my 50 hour work week I wake up, check fb, and on my off days.. just lay there. In bed, in my cozy room. And I stare out my most favorite window at all the beautiful green and trees, flowers blooming outside. And on these days I then lay there some more. And as the minutes tick by, thoughts begin rolling in. How much I need to get done that day. What so and so said the o