Adventures in the Dating World and the Golden Rule

A woman I had been dating brought to my attention on a Thursday night that she did not feel ready to move forward in relationship (ie: "wanted to keep things casual, and didn’t want something serious” ), and so we agreed to part ways.

This particular scenario, or some version of it happened to be a recurring theme in my dating life. You can imagine how overjoyed by this I was. Even after I thought I had been SO careful to “not allow something like this in” Ha! Big wake up call for me here: what needs to be seen/healed ALWAYS finds a way in.

*Something to note here: recurring themes are HUGE signs letting us know that we have work to do in this particular area, and it will keep coming back around until it's fully healed and cleared within us. Hence why some people keep attracting the same ish over and over and over. BIG spirit truth here: It's not “them”, its us. Sorry to burst your bubble, ha! Well in all honesty, it is a two way street in the sense that both are contributing to the dynamic unfolding. However, we/us as individuals have the opportunity to clean up our own side of the street, so to speak, which then allows for old patterns of relating that don't feel so great to either uplevel or fall away entirely.

In days past, I used to cry in agony, wondering why the f*** the universe was doing this to me. I was absolutely sure it was everyone else’s fault. Luckily, over the years of doing this “work” and connecting in more fully to the truth of who I am, I've come to realize that reacting in the same way over and over again doesn't actually work, nor does blame.

And so, this time around when this beautiful woman showed up in my life and presented me with this same scenario yet again, instead of wallowing, blaming, or hiding from it I chose to sit with it. To cry, to dance, to write, to paint, and to sit some more with it in meditation until I found what was at the root of all of this. What exactly was it about this experience that hurt the most? Rejection? No… surprisingly to me, this time around I had zero feelings of not being good enough. Thank Goddess I had cleared that in past relationships ending!

I found myself in this new place, noticing something even deeper within to look at here. Where as before, in longer lasting dating scenarios I felt that pang of rejection, this one was different in the sense that I uncovered a deeper layer. And from this uncovering I found myself in an incredible place of having deep compassion, love, and respect for where we were both at. One of the most freeing feelings I've ever experienced thus far in my life.

This something deeper was an experience I was shown in meditation from my childhood that had been imprinted in a way, and has been affecting every area of my life. I was shown a kind of shock to my system that happened when I realized the "other" cannot see and/or does not value this core belief and knowing of living as love the way I do.

I was 5 years old at Metzger Elementary, sitting in my kindergarten classroom, in the front row right next to my most favorite teacher in the world, Mrs. Conklin. That day she spoke to the class about something that to this day sticks with me SO deeply. I remember it lighting up every cell in my being as she explained it: the "Golden Rule". In simple terms it means treating others as you want to be treated. But to me, even as a five year old, it meant SO much more. I sat there staring up at her as she spoke about this concept that felt truer and more important to me than anything I had ever experienced before. I looked around the room in utter shock as I realized no one else was paying attention!!! Kids were falling off their chairs, yelling at each other, ignoring the teacher, interrupting her, ect. I could not believe no one else was hearing and caring about these words/concept the way I did. Complete and utter shock to my system this was. The teacher and I locked eyes as she spoke, and that day felt more special than any other. I had just learned a piece of something.. my inner truth, and reason for being. The Golden Rule, to me then represented what I now know to be the epitome of love activism, and is what I live by to this day.

And so, from choosing to sit with all that, it turns out I've had this giant piece needing healing! To set these people free, and myself free. Those who choose to "not come and rise up with me", despite seeing a way for them to do so... It's ok!!! And not only is it ok for them to choose an alternate path, it's gorgeous. Because it's them and it's their own choice. I no longer have to carry the burden of trying to shine bright enough, be "more", convince, try and pull others up with me, or feel hurt that they choose to take a path separate from mine.

These words flew out and onto my page that morning in meditation: "We are free to live as we choose, as they are free to live as they choose. We are all divine, holy, and deserving of nothing but the utmost love, respect, and continued blessings of the highest light."

Why this piece was still entrenched in me I do not know, because throughout my life there has been nothing I hate more than when others try to change or tell me what to do... So why in the world have I had this part of me wishing to do just that!?

I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. This chant has been on repeat for me, and for the beautiful soul’s I've had the pleasure of dancing with in this lifetime. So grateful I am for every bit of it.

Ho’oponopono.

This journey we're all on, it's a beautiful one. And it gets even more so the more we lean in to what hurts us the most instead of pulling away, and follow our deepest truths, and honor our soul’s calling. Mine being living as love in every possible way that I can. The Golden Rule has and always will be the anthem of my heart, while honoring others as the incredible beings of light that they are no matter how they choose to show up, because really.. we're all here in this together! Learning and growing as one.

The picture above is my best friend from Kindergarten, Lisa and I. She may or may not have been one of the ones falling off her chair in class that day. But in all honesty I didn't care, because I loved her either way.

Onwards and upwards we go!

Love and more love forever more,

Xoxo Hannah