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Showing posts from September, 2018

Speaking our Truth

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Why I didnt report. I was 2. Why I didn't report. I thought it happened to everyone. They were football players. I couldn't stop them. I didn't know what else to do, so I left my body until it was over. Why I didn't report. She was my girlfriend. I was 16 in an endless cycle of sexual, physical, pschological, and emotional abuse with nowhere to go. And I loved her. Why I didn't report. They were three "friends" I had recently met in the aeriel community I was a part of.  They drove us out into the middle of nowhere in the woods in a town I'd never been to in the middle of the night. We were laying in the back of the van and they began having sex with each other and me. I felt like I had no choice, and no voice to make them stop. There was no way to get home, or even make a phone call. When we got home I tried telling an aerial instructor what had happened. She stopped me before I even began..laughing it off saying she "di

The Other Side of Pain: "BIGness" = Holiness

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This little beauty came to life after finishing up some deep healing work around sexual trauma I experienced growing up and into adulthood. Creatives, do you ever get that feeling like you just might explode if you don't get something on canvas right this very minute, but then find a million and one other things to do that just can't wait!? That's what I've been experiencing quite often lately. This need to create, but also a kind of fear holding me back that leads to nowhere. It all just feels so unbelievably MASSIVE sometimes, but one of the most helpful, light bulb switched on kind of moments happened for me with this recently. My amazing mentor I work with, Kristian Strang , mentioned that this BIGness we sometimes feel.. it's actually HOLINESS. Wowza. #mindblown. The degree to which we feel something is the degree to which the epic/life changing/healing epiphanies and transformations are waiting for us on the other side. So much better these massive e

Spirit-led Travel

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Rolling out of bed on a Sunday morning with a few more days left to go before heading back to work (thank you most epic nanny job ever!), I felt a deep call within to spend the day at a beautiful place called Lost Lake up near Mt. Hood. I hadn't been in ages, and just couldn't pass this idea up. I had been feeling way out of sorts in my body, in particular in relationship to the season beginning to shift into fall. Never before had I experienced this feeling to such a degree. I've always loved and celebrated the seasons changing! But this year a large part of me for whatever reason didn't receive the full experience of summer that it needed to, and so I had been a bit out of sorts by fall already approaching. I arrived at Lost Lake in the early afternoon, sunshine bright and beaming with clear, crisp, almost Autumn air all around. Everything within me exhaled in a big sigh of relief. I felt that deep YES within. My spirit team (so freaking amazing they are)