Choice Points

I was inspired by a dear friend this week to focus in on a topic most widely known as “blocks” (in other words..the crappy things we feel). My friends and I refer to this as resistance. The feelings rising up inside us needing attention that take the form of aspects such as; sadness, avoidance, tiredness, hunger, blame, anger, and all those seemingly very important things that simply must get done right this very instant, conveniently making it almost impossible to sit down and face whatever is causing said resistance.

This has been me so very many times. Most recently, Saturday mornings have been a thing. After my 50 hour work week I wake up, check fb, and on my off days.. just lay there. In bed, in my cozy room. And I stare out my most favorite window at all the beautiful green and trees, flowers blooming outside. And on these days I then lay there some more. And as the minutes tick by, thoughts begin rolling in. How much I need to get done that day. What so and so said the other day that stuck with me. Where is all my money going? And on and on it goes. Slowly I feel myself slipping into and underneath a giant pile of shit. Yep. Utter and complete energetic shit that feels like it ways a million pounds that I cannot possibly work through.

This is pretty common, and totally accepted as the norm by most I would say. To lay there in bed. Go back to sleep, maybe watch TV or movies for hours and hours, ice cream, potatoes chips, alcohol and weed for some. Perhaps you're even in-touch enough with your feelings that you’re able to cry about whatever it is you're feeling. But then you stay stuck, buried by it all.

This is where I found myself for so many years, not knowing how to climb out of that endless cycle of feeling consumed by yuck and then avoiding it all. Well thank Goddess for divine interventions! Spirit has supported me in coming together with my soul tribe where I've been shown tools and ways of navigating through all this ish, while having the support of my community. This makes ALL the difference.

Click here for more info on the most amazing, highest vibing community I've found this far: Risingupforlove.org

What I've learned and discovered through my alchemical work, is that when all is said and done, it boils down to a choice point. We have tools like meditation, energy medicine, salt baths, exercise, and support like Spiritual mentors, or therapists, and high vibing friendships that help inspire and encourage us along the way. But ultimately, there comes that quite still moment in each big ishy experience where we get to choose: “Will I do what I've always done, and shove those cookies in my mouth, go back to sleep, and stay stuck in the same pattern of yuck over and over again? Or will I rise up? Will I choose to say YES to the deeper calling within me this time, to turn and face that yuck that feels like utter shit and hold it until it dissolves right before my face? To lean in a bit and see where the direction of love takes me?”

I'm a fan of choosing higher these days. I've watched and seen what these choices bring me, and I would not trade it for the world.

As a teenager I found myself in some pretty dark places. I was overcome by pain, emotions, and thoughts, all without proper tools to really get to the heart of it all. I did however have things like art, and traditional therapy that got me to the next place and then the next in my life. Although, back then I did not know that I had the power to choose even higher. I got by back then...not in total thriving, more like survival mode, but I got by.

The pic below shows a drawing I did when I was 18. Compare that to this new painting I just finished after choosing to get up instead of sleep in. MIND BLOWN when I saw this. I have loved creating art since.. forever. And always this face has shown up in my paintings and drawings. Over the years she has shifted from being seen as one through the eyes of pain and fear, to now taking on her true form of being seen through the eyes of source. Through love.

Forever in gratitude for this journey of life I’ve been on. And I know first hand that takes courage, strength, and determination to choose higher...to buck the mainstream current, and stand in who you really are. But for me, I simply cannot NOT choose this path. It's who I came here to be, and couldn't do it any other way.

I ended up getting myself out of bed that Saturday afternoon. After hearing those awful thoughts, and sitting with them I was then able to shift my focus, and began hearing what sounded like a softer, gentler voice saying “how about over here? Directing me to my easel. Let's just start painting and see what happens”. This is how my Spirit team gets me every. single. freaking. time. So nonchalant they are about it all. Totally works on me..ha!

What really gets me though is the realization of how different my day would have gone had I chosen to stay stuck in that shit. How much I would have missed. And the crazy part is that we do this all the time!!! Like most of America functioning like this 24/7!

Well today no more. Once again I chose a direction that opened up doors and made me feel better than anything I could have imagined, and I want to shout from the rooftops that this is not a “one and only club”. We ALL have the power to rise up into the truest, most kick ass feeling version of who we are. So let's get to it!

We totally got this.

Onwards and upwards we go!

In love,

Xoxo Hannah